LYF

fuzzy and buzzy bees in my head / stomach / heart / chest / eyes a breath is not usually solid fill up expand grow spill over there's cotton it flexes like insulation foam in my lungs cotton cough, then get it out out out get out O U T OUT outoutout ouch is this enough it's never enough cough, then too much cotton it's too loud in my air conditioning buzzes white brown pink noise I am a movie theatre popcorn in my lungs emergency exit blood trailers in my fingertips credits in my spine heart made of some plotlines contrived what's a mind with no director illustration no vector I don't scale well but we all look fuzzy blown up rasterized I HATE THE SMELL OF ONIONS AND THE TASTE AND THE CRUNCH AND THE BURN IN MY EYES THE FEELING WHEN I CUT DO YOU THINK THE SOUL HAS LAYERS I KNOW A BODY HAS LAYERS YOU ARE A SOUL WRAPPED IN A BODY YOU ARE A ONION AND I HATE HATE HATE ONIONS / BODIES BUT THE DAMNED THING IS IF I CUT YOU ID CRY TOO SO YOU ARE AN ONION AND I HATE YOU what a shame i'm an onion too. it's too preformative all lowercaseitive coffee shop reading and vinyl playitive you're a harsh plaintiff but then again everyone's faking except you! hypocrite. fake plastic trees and fake plastic fish and fake plastic plants and there's plastic in my pants and my hands and in all the brands there's plastic in all the testicles in the world I like the word vestibule and I hate the word testicle but I love taking tests and hate wearing vests and that s the difference dance dance like we're falling apart we're falling apart fall out (boy) boys or toys or poise and since you're not six anyone you have new kinds of toys and since you're not sixteen anymore you can't pick boys. afterall, it's twenty twenty six almost twenty twenty seven twenty twenty...six seven ? six seven ?! six seven !! sex septum (that's latin) sex sex sex I wish I were a boy sometimes I get penis envy sometimes I just need a penis in me. break --- intermission even ok, breathe you need to breathe. we've got to get back to the point now why can't I breathe underwater it's not fair that the fish can! I wish wish to be a fish wish I were a fish in a dish a dish where i'd swim in a butter sauce with lemon and rosemary and thyme and i'd blow bubbles that say thank you for picking ME for chosing ME for enjoying ME for devouring ME thank you thank you i love you and so I'll become you is there anything so undoing as you? I don't believe in coming undone but I'm nearly done and I don't feel better I don't feel anything at all not even empty I'm just a hole leaking and and disgusting and raw and red and pus is oozing out and it burns a little when you touch it because it's new skin too raw too rare but rare means special am I special? can I be yours? can we undo? today is bad but I like books and pages even if they're onion layers at least today is. I hear dreams of space ships whirring at least today is? pinch me pinch me I'm dreaming at least today is! and I never dream